Spoiler alert!! I am not supermom. There are many people out there who have given me such a compliment as to call me supermom. I appreciate it more than most would understand. I am the face and the front runner to what it takes to run my crazy household. People ask me all the time how I do it. A household with me, my husband, my five girls, our two nephews and our animals. I am told I make it look easy and so together. When I am given this compliment I smile and say “Thank you.” After the conversation where I have been called super mom is over, I go in my room and either laugh or cry at the fact that we look so super in others eyes. So the rest of this blog is my “Secrets” to being super mom.
First secret, I raise my kids with respect, responsibilities and consequences. My kids say yes ma’am and yes sir. They know that they do what they are told. Now given, if they don’t understand why they have to something they are encouraged to ask. They do what they are told first and then we have a conversation as to why they had to do what they had to do. There is a difference between back talk and questions for understanding. We allow questions and learning but not back talk. They have responsibilities. They have things they have to do daily. Tasks at home and tasks from school. Last but not least, consequences. We get the compliment a lot about how well behaved our kids are. This thing called consequences is why. We are not the type of parents that believe our kids can do no wrong. They are kids, they are learning what is right and wrong, so of course they can and will do wrong. All of my kids are aware that their actions have consequences. Now we don’t punish out of anger. We explain to our kids why they are being punished. You are standing with your face on the wall for hitting your sister, not just go stand in the corner. We follow through. Do it again and you get a spanking. Do again after that you are grounded. We don’t usually have to go past the first punishment because they know we will follow through with the next. We also let them know when we were wrong. If we reacted sharply or to harshly, we apologize. We let them know that what they did was not ok, but neither was our reaction. This is one of the best ways, in my opinion, to teach respect.
Second secret, we are honest, open and do our best to lead by example. Age appropriately of course. I am no going to have the sex talk with my five year old. However, if my eleven year old comes to me with questions, she knows I will sit and explain things to her. If I am being asked questions they are hearing about it somewhere. I want to make sure they know they can always come to me about things. Even if the answer to say, my five year old, is at this age it is not appropriate to talk about those things and it is something she will learn about when she is older, that is enough. I have heard my five year old change the topic of a conversation with another child because what the other child was trying to say was not appropriate. We make our kids aware of things that are being decided or done in our family if it something that will affect them. We pray with our kids and for our kids. We do our best to lead by example. i don’t dress in a way I would’nt want one of my five daughters to dress. I treat my husband with respect and patience to the best of my ability. I do my best to be a person I would be proud to see my daughters become.
Last secret, and most important secret, I am not alone! I have so much respect and awe for single moms. I have a husband that works hard to support his family financially and picks up the slack when I am struggling. I have family that lives out of town that I know would be here within 24 hours if I truly needed them. I have a sister that lives super close that is here when I need her. My eleven year old that is so much help. I have a friend that I can message/text any time and just vent, called my bitching friend…lol. I have the friend that i get together with once a week that helps me get out of my head. Then there is the friend that is just everything. That friend that I can call anytime, that gets mad at who I am mad at. I can call her and be like I hate this situation and she will hate it with me! The same friend where I can go to her house lay in her bed and just talk, cry, or whatever I need. This is the first and the most important secret to being the face of super mom, having all the support in the background that people don’t see. Having the people that lift and carry you through more than they know while also calling you super mom and saying they don’t know how you do it. Well, you guys, that is how I do it. I am not sure I could without you all.
So those are my “secrets”. I am not super mom. I am a mess that is doing my best, just like every other mom out there. Even if a mom looks like she has it all together, make sure you let her know she is doing a great job. No matter how good it looks, we are most likely just doing our best while on the brink of falling apart. Every mom that is doing the best she can is a super mom!